Dentist jokes

Thought I would start a compilation of dentist and dental jokes.

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novacaine because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.”

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A man walks into the dentist’s office and after the dentist examines him, he says, “that tooth has to come out. I’m going to give you a shot of Novocain and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
The man grabs the dentist’s arm, “no way. I hate needles I’m not having any shot!”
So the dentist says, “okay, we’ll have to go with the gas.”
The man replies, “absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I’m not having gas.”
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, “here,” he says. “Take this pill.”
The man asks “What is it?”
The doc replies, “Viagra.”
The man looks surprised, “will that kill the pain?” he asks.
“No,” replies the dentist, “but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!”

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A woman goes to the dentist. When he bows to begin to work, she grabs his balls. The dentist says,
“Madam, I believe you have taken my private zone.”
The woman answers, “Yes. We’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we.”

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While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.” When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was just my Mother.”

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When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of “Painless” dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. “He’s a fake ! ” he told his mates. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he yelled like anyone else.”

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A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well and they decide to go to the girl’s place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands.
He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The girl looked at him and said, “You must be a dentist!”
Flabbergasted, the guy responded, “Why yes. That’s amazing. How did you determine that?”
The woman replied, “Easy… you keep washing your hands.”
Well, one thing led to another, and they migrated to the bed. Things became more and more passionate and… (*snip*)
After their passionate deed was done the woman remarked, “You must be a GREAT dentist!”
The guy was very surprised, and said ‘Yes! Yes! I sure am a great dentist… You amaze me! And how did you know THAT, my dear?
‘ His lover said, “That’s easy. I didn’t feel a thing.”

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A particularly voluptuous lady entered the dentists surgery in an obvious state of agitation. The dentist tried to calm her down assuring her that he would do nothing to hurt her. She sat down in the chair and started fidgeting nervously as the dentist began sterilizing all the required equipment. When he asked her to open her mouth, she screamed.
So he tried to calm her down again even though he was losing patience.
Almost immediately the lady threw a hysterical fit, then realizing that the dentist had begun glaring at her, she said, “Oh doctor, I’m so nervous. I hate dentists. Why, I think I’d rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled.”
Replied the dentist ” Well Miss, better make up your mind fast so that I can accordingly adjust the chair.”

I don’t wanna go!

Man I sure hate going to the dentist, seems there is always something new wrong with my mouth no matter how hard I work to keep it healthy. Those dreaded words……*you are going to need some new dental work* just send chills down my spine. How about you all? All I can think about when the *dental work* is mentioned is PAIN, MONEY, MORE PAIN and MORE MORE MORE MONEY! I dont have dental coverage through my job so all dental work comes straight out of my pocket. OUCH OUCH OUCH! How about those Gentle Dentists? Anyone tried one of those? What exactly do they do differently than any other dentist?

I have a tooth that is going to need a root canal and Im really dreading it. I have a friend that specializes in root canals and claims his specialized procedure is quite painless but I am still very skeptical of any and all dental procedures. Ive seen people in pain after a root canal. It did NOT look fun at all. I remember having my wisdom teeth cut out when I was 18 years old. I missed 3 weeks of school from complications from the procedure. It was quite painful and I could not hardly eat anything at all. They had to go back in and perform another dental procedure where they scraped puss off the bones in my jaw afterwards. I had dry sockets set up, the whole nine yards. It definitely turned me against dentists and any dental procedures for sure and that was nearly 20 years ago.

I guess I need to break down and go get this root canal done before I lose this tooth completely and any other dental procedure I am in need of. I just hate going in for that initial dental exam visit ya know? Its been so long since I went I know I need a complete exam by the dentist and Im sure I need new x-rays as well. Im sure I have just let my anxiety buid up way more than necessary and everything will be just fine.

Anyone know a good dentist?? lol

Shut up! ;-)~

“A Dentist is the only Man who can tell a Woman when to open and shut her mouth.”

More tips on finding a new Dentist

Here are a few examples of good questions to ask when looking for a new Dentist. These can be used as a guideline and you should always ask questions on your own pertaining to things that are important to you.

1. Is the dentist accepting new patients?
2. How long has the dentist been in practice and how long has he/she been at their current location?
3. Does the dentist treat patients with special conditions such as persons with physical handicaps or HIV/AIDS?
4. If you have dental phobias, find out what kind of relaxation techniques the dentist offers such as nitrous oxide or dental sedation.
5. Does the dentist see children as well as adults?
6. How long does it take to get an appointment?
7. Is there a charge for missed or broken appointments?
8. Does the dentist offer the latest in dental technology?
9. Does the dentist take continuing education courses and stay up to date with the latest techniques?
10. Is the dentist office convenient to your work or home?
11. Are the office hours compatible with your schedule?
12. What kind of emergency after hours care does the dentist provide?
13. Does the office offer any kind of payment plans? Many dental offices are starting to offer financing plans with no interest.
14. If you are using dental insurance, does the dentist accept it?
15. Will they file the claims for you or will you have to do it yourself?
16. Will the dentist accept your co pay or will you be required to pay the full amount up front and be reimbursed by your dental insurance company later?

I couldnt resist

How cute is that? All of this dentist and dental talk has me searching for way to lighten it up a bit. Enjoy!

How do you find a dentist?

I did a google search for *find a dentist*. There are a ton of great resources out there these days to help you find a good dentist in your area. Here are just a few I found.

This one from the ADA. http://www.ada.org/public/directory/index.asp

http://dentistdirectory.com/

http://www.everydentist.com/

http://1800dentist.com/

http://www.dentists.com/

Here is one to help you find a great pediatric dentist for your little ones. http://www.aapd.org/finddentist/

Don’t forget the best dentist in tampa.Then there is always word of mouth, I think that is the best way to find a good dentist. Find out who your friends or family use and how long they have been using them. That will give you an idea of whether or not you want to try them out for yourself as well as seeing if they are convenient to your home, work or school.

The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy

1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.
2. His restrooms are labeled “Bleeders” and “Non-Bleeders”
3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.
4. Does an extensive search for cavities…dental and body.
5. He…ummm..licks his tools clean.
6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.
7. When you come to from being under the gas, he’s quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office.
8. Wears a necklace made of human teeth.
9. Has a grindstone in the office for his tools.
10. Insists that a Novacaine shot is something that he’ll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him.